This is how I felt today. Buried. Individually, each of these commitments represented here are a privilege, but together they’re threatening to steal my life.
They’ll find me some day, in my philosophy sweatshirt with books piled on top of me that I haven’t finished reading, my notes opened to a page I didn’t understand the first time, my to-do list on a sticky note with at least three things not crossed off, and a stack of papers that need comments.
Are you here? I talked to at least three people today who sounded buried, behind, or barely afloat. I talked to my sister, and it turns out we’ve both got sore throats – the kind that threaten to turn into a cold.
Because my eyes want to close and though rest is a good thing, I can’t have it yet, I need a pep talk.
This is for you, too.
Hi there, friend. Yes, you there, the one hiding under the blanket, where the world seems safe. It’s going to be okay.
You’re capable. You’ve done things before – yes, you! No, of course you can’t do all those things at once. You won’t knock them off in one fell swoop, but you can do them one at a time.
Every little thing will get done. Or it might not, but will everything fall apart if it doesn’t? I know, it feels like it will. Someone will be disappointed in you. Someone will not understand that you tried your hardest. But you’ll know you did.
And the world will keep turning. People will keep getting up every morning and going to work and making new friends and falling in love and creating things and buying their groceries.
And if you don’t do something perfectly and with one hundred percent effort, it’ll be okay. Some people live their whole lives that way. I wouldn’t recommend it, but it’s okay to just do what you can, to give what you have when you don’t have it all. You’ll have it all again some day and be able to give all.
What you’re doing matters. Sure, the world won’t stop spinning if you don’t do it, but it might spin better if you do.
Deep breath, friend. One thing at a time. Short breaks in between. Get a snack.
You can do it.
I can do it.
Right now, it might be reading a little more then going to bed, but that’ll cap off the day just fine. And tomorrow will dawn anew, with an opportunity to try again.