Taking stock again.

I’ll turn 21 on Tuesday, so I’ve been taking stock of my life again. This happens every couple months in college anyways, when events like the mock interview I went to on Saturday remind me that I would much rather create for my work than just about anything else – besides help other people create. As I prepared what I was going to wear the night before, I asked Liesel if she thought it was appropriate to wear a bright purple pencil skirt to a job interview. It was past knee length and not skin tight – color was the only question.

She approved.

And then I thought, if I couldn’t wear that to my job, it’s probably not one I’d want. 

I took stock with my friend Rachel today, as we took the bus back from church, about reconciliation and relationships and how even when you think it can’t happen, it can. 

I took stock during communion because that’s the time to do it. Our pastor was talking about how sin keeps us from taking new ground in our lives. As much as I hate talking about sin because it means I have to evaluate and change, I found I appreciated that he brought it up. I was reminded that God calling something sin and telling us not to do it isn’t his way of taking our satisfaction or fun away but rather his way of protecting us from something that wasn’t meant to be ours, something that would destroy us in the end. He said that sin is “belittling something God has made sacred.”

So I made it my business to know what God considers sacred. Consequently, I’m reading in Exodus right now, where you get a pretty good idea of what God considers sacred, then you just have to figure out what it means when you aren’t a Hebrew living before Christ. God hasn’t changed, but the world has. 

I took stock of my hair this past week, too. Because curly hair – though one of my favorite things about the way God made me – is limiting in terms of length and what shape you can give it, I dyed it red instead. More and more I find that I value variety. (If I succeeded at embedding an Instagram post, you’ll see a picture at the end of this post… or you might not and you’ll just have to imagine what I’d look like with red hair or come see it yourself)

21 feels both incredibly old and impossibly young. How is it that I’ve only made it to that number? I feel as though life has been so long, but of course I’d feel that way since it’s my only reality. I’ve never lived 60 years, so 21 seems like quite a few years. Also, how is it that I’m this old? I feel as though I haven’t qualified to be 21 in many respects. But who sets the qualifications for age? I’m the one who determines how I spend my days, so I suppose I have, in my own case.

It’s always a little bit less exciting when your birthday falls during midterms week, but I’ll still be able to celebrate with friends, and my sister will come into town a few days later. Then we’ll go back to Minnesota on Monday, where homework will be much less of an issue.

I’m thankful for birthdays, new years, and other times that give me pause to think about the trajectory I’m on. In other news, I’m thankful even more so for this birthday, because my charity: water campaign to provide clean water instead of receiving birthday gifts (which my grandma half-ignored by sending me things to help me give myself a manicure as well as a check) has reached $3,822, with 30 days still left to donate. If you want to join in on the fun, check out the campaign here.

New hair, revitalized ideas about where I’m going and who I am, reminders about my relationship to God, one stressful week of work before spring break, and providing clean water to 127 people. Stock = taken.

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