Finals week. It’s becoming a cliché. We all use up our yearly quota of complaints in just a few days. We eat more junk food than we should and sleep less than we should and procrastinate more than normal.
That is, of course, unless you aren’t in college in the 21st century. Oh, you aren’t a millenial?
You don’t know what finals week is in this day and age?
This is how many people feel during finals week. The stress of studying for an exam that is weighted to 50% of one’s grade induces hopelessness. The only solution? Do your best, and if you fail and end up unable to graduate (not that that is the normal course for those who fail finals, but we’re entitled to a little hyperbole here), you must find a neurosurgeon to hitch yourself to upon being kicked out of student housing.
Finals week reminds us all of the power of prayer. Take a deep breath, croak out, “Help, Jesus,” and feel better. It’s not like a cough drop – it’s a reminder that someone else is in control, and it’ll help us stay calm… until we forget again.
This is the perpetual mantra. Finals week? Naturally you must forego everything but your studies. Give up sleep, friends, jobs, social work, the soup kitchen, your sanity, eating (unless it’s prepackaged and bad for you).
Then we have the attitude of those who never study, even though they should. We all wonder why they’re in college. Sometimes we even ask them. They still feel the pressure of finals week, because this particular brand doesn’t want to fail – they just don’t want to put in any hard work.
Sometimes we ladies send this to each other just as a reminder that some hunk somewhere believes in us. We all know Ryan Gosling has no idea that we exist, but it’s a nice thought that he cares about the average college woman.
And then we get to the truth. Half of us right now are watching something we’ve already seen before on Netflix. A quarter of us are in the library (half of them are studying, the other half are just staring at their notes to try to download information without putting in effort). An eighth of us are in study groups, trying to make up for what we don’t understand by feeding off of others’ knowledge, and the other eighth of us are posting about our stress levels on social media.
No matter where we fall on the meme scale, we will survive this week. We might even thrive if we actually apply ourselves and keep on swimming.
To my fellow finals week sufferers: keep on keeping on. It will be Christmas soon.