Good morning, world.
Good morning, Jesus.
Good morning, anxious feelings that everything will go badly today.
And by badly, we mean, we might feel uncomfortable or out of place or tired when we need energy. We might not have the right thing to say at the right time. We might disappoint someone. We might not know something we should know.
Does anyone else find themselves in a perpetual state of worry at the start of a new day?
If I get out of bed, I might run into the door frame on my way to the bathroom. If I go into the kitchen, I might see one of my flatmates and have to attempt conversation before I’ve had coffee (which is hard since they aren’t native English speakers). I will likely say something stupid.
I, for one, would rather not live that way. I’ve also found that every time I tell God that I’m not interested in worrying about it, and I’d rather trust Him, I feel peace and security, even though sometimes awkward conversations happen and inopportune circumstances come my way.
It’s not a matter of saying, “God I trust you that everything will go my way.”
That’s no good.
My way is not always* the best way.
* usually not
God has proven to me over and over again that He’s worth trusting, because he brings peace in the middle of the trials and frustrations and brings meaning to the madness. (and by madness, I often just mean confusion or getting lost or feeling exhausted… sometimes madness isn’t really that mad but it feels mad)
It’s still not my natural instinct to wake up in surrender and assurance that Jesus is mine. But until that becomes second nature (I have a feeling I’ll still be saying this at 80), I want to make a conscious effort to trust.