Secretly not busy

Can I tell you a secret? Okay. Here goes.

I’m not busy.

Surprising, isn’t it? You expect that when you go to dip yourself in Austrian culture for a semester that it’ll be a whirlwind from start to finish, that your lungs will seize up from all the activity, that you’ll drown in culture and experience and good food.

Well, I’ve definitely absorbed lots of culture, good food, and experiences in my first two weeks, but I’m not busy. When I first arrived, I was accosted by forms and needs and registration, but now I’m just waiting. My classes don’t begin until next Friday, so I have a whole ‘nuther week to while away.

In some ways, it’s great to have hours and hours to just wander around Graz, to get lost and buy bread and eat the bread and find my way home again. I have time to relax and settle into my living space. I’ve journaled nearly half a book already.

But I am not busy. And there’s this little voice somewhere behind my ears saying, “Shouldn’t you be? Look at all these people with lives and busyness. Look at their purpose. You have a life like that at home; you should have transplanted that. Find things to make you busy!”

But I’m realizing that busyness for busyness’ sake isn’t really what I want. I’m learning to savor all the time to think and process the things I’ve seen. I love having the freedom to go out when I want to, plenty of time to walk to each destination (thereby saving tram fare), being free to say “yes” to any social invitation because I never have anything else to do.

The busyness will come, and when it does, it will find me ready, having savored three weeks of relaxation.

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