Spinning.

It’s October 2nd, and I’m tempted to ask where the ’10’ that comes when I go to write the date came from and where the ‘9’ went. Where did the ‘9’ go? How did I spend that month?

I think I may have studied a little bit. Or a lot bit. I think I worked some and adjusted some.

Really, come to think of it, this college life is constant adjustment. Or maybe it’s not just the college life. Maybe it’s just life. Changes happen one after the other, and you change and sometimes you surprise yourself by changing and you have to figure out how you changed. And sometimes you have to adjust to where home is every 3-4 months. Adjusting is around every single corner.

New jobs, new friends, new ways of seeing old friends, new ways of seeing old jobs, new feelings, old feelings leaving, feelings about the feelings, new mindsets, new ways to think about the old mindset, new ideas, old ideas that are new to you, new ways to think about the old ideas that are new to you.

Are you dizzy yet? Does life make you dizzy, too? Do you sometimes just want to sit on a bench and take a deep breath and close your eyes and not have to open them until you’re good and ready to see whatever new thing is headed your way?

Life is spinning quickly, and sometimes I think that I have to spin too, to keep up. But maybe it’s more like an old fashioned merry-go-round, you know, those dangerous things on old playgrounds that spin. You just sit in the center and try not to throw up while you spin because standing up isn’t productive, and it’s hard enough to just keep your lunch inside of you.

I think I toss my cookies multiple times per week, sometimes on my friends, sometimes on my homework, sometimes on Jesus. It happens, and when I do, Jesus holds my hair, and I just brush my teeth and keep going.

Maybe it’s not a long-term solution, but it’ll do for today.

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