Last night, in that fuzzy moment of half-consciousness right before you fall asleep, I had a thought I’d never had before. So, of course, it took me out of my stupor a bit. I was intent on falling asleep before 11:30 though, so… I texted it to myself.
I know, whatever happened to a pen and paper?
I actually have to text myself a lot so that I won’t forget all the little things that pop in my head at inopportune times. Then I see that I have a text and get all excited before I remember that it’s just me, reminding myself to do something.
Anyways, without further ado here’s what that text said: “What if you only gave when you felt like you had a lot to offer?
I had been thinking about being at church the day before (my Sunday night church) and realizing as they said to pass the offering bags that I didn’t have much cash in my wallet, as in not enough to really do anything. I mean, I’ve got a whole lot of change in my purse, but that would require rooting through the thing while Craig was speaking, and I didn’t really want to be that girl.
Plus, I was in the front row. And, change is noisy. I was with a group of girls that I went to high school with, and when they said, “People on the right, pass the offering bags down the row, and the person at the other end can bring them to the foot of the cross during the last worship set,” I thought to myself, Well, we’re all pretty broke here. I mean, not broke, but we all have our own churches in addition to this one and not a whole lot extra to give, I’m sure. Maybe I shouldn’t even pass the bag. I’ve only got a little bit, here. I mean, what is that going to do anyways? I should just wait til I have more to give.
I know. I’m dumb. God can work with anything. Mostly because it’s not about the amount but about the sacrifice and obedience. I got that gnawing feeling in my stomach that I get when the Holy Spirit isn’t satisfied with my obedience level, so I reached down to the end of the row (funny that I was the person on the right end), grabbed the bag, and stuck my tiny little offering in it. Then, I passed it along.
Now, obviously I’m not telling you about my giving so you can pat me on the back for it. This is a story about growth, not being good the first time around.
What if we all waited until we felt like our offering was enormous and plentiful before we gave? Well, the offering bags wouldn’t be very full, for one. What if we waited until we felt like we had plenty of elbow room in our schedules before we gave time to the people who needed it? What if we only spread kindness when we felt like we had a surplus of pep and encouraging words?
There are days when I’m prepared to give, but I think that part of the joy in giving is being ready to offer whatever I have on the spot, even if I don’t feel like it’s enough. Even when it looks like it won’t make any difference. I need to be faithful in the small things and offer what I have, especially when God asks.
Let’s see how that plays out on this fine Tuesday.