No memos or clichés

I’m having a really hard time spelling today for some reason, and it’s only words with the “ie” thing going on.  If there’s anything I know how to do well, it’s spell.  But for some reason, my fingers think that the rule says “e before i” instead.

Fingers, you’ve got to get back on board.  We’re a team.

I’ve been thinking about how brief life is this morning.  It’s partly due to the fact that I sort of accidentally slept until 10:00 and thus feel like I’ve wasted hours of my day.  But it’s also because people keep dying.

Is it just me, or have there been an extraordinary number of tragedies in the past year that take lives?  Has it always been this common to have school shootings and factories collapsing and tornados and bombings?  Have my eyes been shut to this before?  As troubling as it is that I may have been oblivious to how common this is, it’s even more troubling to me that these people had no notice.

Even though I know this to be faulty, I’ve always had this impression that I’ll be notified at least a week in advance before I head off into eternity.  I don’t know exactly how I thought that would happen.  It’s probably just the typical teen mindset that you’re indestructible that makes me think that death can’t just happen as a surprise, in a flash.

News flash, Ashley.  You don’t usually get a memo.  Even if you’ve got six months to live, that’s not a guarantee.  They don’t give you a date and time unless you’re on death row.   I hate clichés, so I won’t say that this makes me want to live like I’m dying.  I actually think I might do some foolish things if I was dying, along with meaningful things.

I’d rather live like I’m actually alive, like I’m consciously deciding to make the most of my life every second.  I’d rather live in a sustainably meaningful way than to live meaningfully as though I won’t have to keep it up forever.

Today, that means doing some kickboxing and cleaning my room.  I’m still purging because I’d rather live with less stuff.  All this cleaning gives me a lot of thinking time, too, so I can contemplate the life I want to live, who I want to be, who God wants me to be.

And there’s Tuesday for you.

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