I know that’s not a word.  It’s a portmanteau.  (if you don’t know what that means, google it and add it to your vocabulary – like I just did – it will greatly enrich your life.)

I have small realizations all the time.  Like the one day when my twin cousins turned 15, and I realized that I really wasn’t that much older than them.  I think that when they were born I felt older than a three and a half year old, more important, more special, so I misgauged the age gap for quite a while.  Also, I had this idea in my head for most of elementary and middle school that though I aged, no one else did.  Just Brooke and my classmates.  Everybody else stayed the same age, in my mind.

I bet you age too.


I realized that I only have two weeks before I get to go home for Christmas break, when finals and all the joyful work they bring (just a little bit of fake enthusiasm there, just a little) will be over.  Then again, that means that I only have two weeks to cram all this work into.

I’ve been realizing over the past few years that my passion is really for writing, communicating, etc, combined with a mission for justice for the oppressed.  I’ve realized that I want to partner with God in raising up those that are usually pushed down.

None of theses realizations have come with much clarity.  The realization that I was just 3 1/2 years older than those girls brought some significant cognitive dissonance that I’ll need to work through.  The realization that I only have two weeks left meant I have to figure out how to fit things in – it didn’t tell me how to.

I’ve realized the type of thing I want to be involved with – but that doesn’t give me step-by-step instructions for the rest of my life.

Sometimes, realizations just lead to more confusion.  Realusion.  But then that stage leads to asking questions and seeking answers.  So then (hopefully) some clarity comes.  Jesus is pretty darn good at bringing answers just when you came to the end of all of your wrong ones.

I’ve had some realusions.  You probably have too.  well, I know this now, but I don’t know what to do with it. I bet God wants it.

Just saying.



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