I hate writing first drafts for a paper. Even if I have a clear idea of what I want to say and a general structure that I want the document to take, the initial cranking out of the paragraphs is intensely painful.
This is another one of those times where I realize how insanely ridiculous I am.
I spent a good portion of yesterday mapping out my paper (and by mapping, I mean literally… there’s a great app for macs that helps you mind map) and dreading the writing. In fact, I dreaded it all through lunch and Comm Theory. Then I went back to my room, procrastinated a little bit, mapped a little more, and dreaded it all through choir. Then I dreaded it all through dinner. And I dreaded it all through my shift.
This is a significant portion of my day spent dreading. It wasn’t the most restful day – which is ironic since my paper was about ambition – which, I’m sure, you an imagine.
Picture my surprise when I got home at 9:30, started writing my paper around 10:03, and was all done by 10:58.
It’s just another reminder that God cares about the things that weigh me down. There was a great amount of grace in that paper-writing process. (It’s not even a bad first draft, which is what my professor says he expects.) And because God carries those burdens with me and infuses grace into the situations that come with them, I don’t need to be weighed down.
Are you getting sick of reading about how I keep forgetting that? Come ON, Ashley. You’ve talked about this 800 million times. I think you just need to get the point now and learn something else.
You’re probably right.
I’ll get there.