Dear Ms. Swift,
I’m a big fan.
(oh, wait. scratch that. Everyone says that. I’ve gotta start this differently.)
I feel like I know you since so many people think I am you. We’re even the same height!!!
(oh gosh, now I sound creepy. too many exclamation points. gotta start over.)
For the past five years of my life, the most common first thing people notice or say about me is that I look like you. I haven’t decided whether its a blessing or a curse since you’re obviously a beautiful girl but I’d like to be seen for who I am. There are actually a significant number of people on my college campus who don’t know my real name but refer to me as “the girl who looks like Taylor Swift”. You’ve been a part of my life, without ever really being in it.
Fun facts about you and me:
– We have blue eyes.
– We’re around 5′ 11” in height (I might be half an inch taller, but who needs to gloat about half an inch?)
– We both play guitar. But you’re better than me.
– People refer to us as ‘Taylor Swift’
– naturally curly blonde hair
– We like sparkles and girly things, like dresses.
Isn’t this whole thing strange? I’ve never met you. And I likely never will. Yet I feel personally insulted if anyone ever criticizes you for anything. People all over the board have told me that I resemble you: healthcare professionals, little girls at the Mall of America, close friends, acquaintances, teachers, coaches, random people on public transportation, cashiers, and co-workers. I’m sure no one has ever told you that you look like me, but if I said that 1,000 people have said that to me, I don’t think it would be much of an exaggeration.
I’d like to know why God made me this similar to you. I’d like to know if someday I’ll be impersonating you in Vegas since I can’t find an employer who will pay me to simply write whatever my little heart desires. Or maybe it’ll be my ticket to get a writing career… That sounds like a good book, right? My Life: Perpetually Being Told That I Looked Like/Was Someone Else.
Wait a second, I can just write YOUR biography. This works out for both of us since you obviously have been looking for the right person to do it, and who better to write it than someone who feels personally insulted whenever anything bad is said about you?
Just a thought. Take it or leave it.
Bet you’ve never gotten fan mail like this. By the way, I love the new album.
Update: 12pm, just you can jump on the bandwagon or join the small group of dissenters…