If you have a quirky sense of humor and enjoy music, you should give Relient K a listen. They’re great road trip music, which is how I’m enjoying them right now. The song that just played is called “Faking My Own Suicide.” And I know that could sound really morbid or irreverent, but the song is actually not like that at all.
It’s the typical story of unrequited love, except the guy doesn’t just pine for the girl – he takes drastic action.
He fakes his own suicide.
Because I know you love me, you just haven’t realized. I’m faking my own suicide. They’ll hold a double funeral because a part of you will die along with me.
I was laughing to myself about this because it really reveals a truth about us as humans.
We love people more when we don’t actually have to love them anymore. There are those people in our lives that are easy to love while they’re alive and in our presence because – on the whole – they’re nice. They’re pleasant and love us back. Sure, they make mistakes and disappoint us, but on the whole, we like them. They merit our love.
Some people are easier to love once they move to Finland or Heaven. It sounds horrible to say, but how true is it that we can so much more easily see testy people in a positive light after we don’t have to deal with them as much anymore?
It makes me wonder about boundaries in friendships and other relationships. I wonder: is it better for me to love well and less often or to love mediocrely and only when I feel like it? Is that how Jesus did it?
Or is it more that I need a change of heart, that the reason I love people isn’t based on them but based on the fact that I am loved unconditionally by God? I’m thinking that’s more along the lines of why we love. That actually takes pressure off of me, doesn’t it? Sure, I have to love everyone as well as I can, but the focus goes to the One loving through me.
I’d like that much better. And, as usual, it’s a little easier said than done, but it’s totally worth doing.
TRAVEL UPDATE TIME: We’ve arrived in Michigan to drop my sister off. That’s probably not the best way to put it, since it makes it seem like we’re just stopping at her house and waving at her on the sidewalk while we speed away.
We’ll be here until tomorrow morning. It’s sad to leave her here, but it does mean that there’s more room in the car. I was just about folded in half in there today. And, yes, that was my own fault for bringing so much stuff with me – including a massive mini fridge (yes, I do realize the irony of that combination of adjectives) and Jonathan – but I just refused to leave my beloved instrument at home.
So I sat folded for most of the day and am still suffering from soreness. But, it will be worth it in the end.
All in all, excitement is building steadily.
By the way, my mom says hi.