just a little different, I guess

I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m going to say it again.  One of the few things I don’t like about Audrey (besides the lack of seat heaters) is her lack of CD player or auxiliary port.  This means that I’m condemned to either 1) silence in the car – sometimes a good option, or 2) radio.  (I don’t consider the tape player a viable option.)

So I have four radio stations that I flip between.  There are three Christian stations – and I use all three because much of the time I’m disappointed by the shallowness or lack of talent displayed in Christian music.  But, because I’m not a music critic and this isn’t a blog about that, I won’t name names – and one indie/fringe music/up-and-coming artists station.  I just flip between the four til I find one that is playing a song that I want to sing along with.

Along that train of thought, I’ve been trying to relate to some of the songs better.  Trying to understand where the artist is coming from when they wrote it, trying to get past bad music to the heart of it.  I figure I could learn something, or at least have something to chew on – or blog about.  And I keep hearing this theme: I’m hurt because of other people or just how my life has turned out.  I don’t know how to fix it.  You’re my last and only hope.  This is what is going to finally turn me around. I’m here, open heart and all.

Okay, so maybe I can relate to that a bit.  I’ve had my share of pain (which may be considerably smaller or more/less intense than your share… we won’t compare since pain isn’t pleasant no matter what), things that have made me need to turn to God for healing and guidance.  And I also know that it is so effective in bringing us to Jesus, that brokenness and the inability to remedy our situations shows us our need.

But I don’t relate to it that well.  This is a personal thing, guys.  You can disagree, as always.

But the thing that drives me to Jesus primarily is how much of a failure I am without Him.  It’s the fact that I cannot succeed at even lowing my family for one day without being filled with His spirit.  It’s the fact that I’ve tried to patch myself up, tried to offer myself forgiveness and newness of life, but all I ended up with was some bad stitches and a band-aid that wouldn’t stick on the skin.

It’s good for me to remember that though Jesus doesn’t change and is the same, no matter who you are, sometimes we come to Him from different places, thinking that we’re there for different reasons.

I guess the point of all of this is that I would like more people who are failures to write songs.  like this one, it’s good.



2 thoughts on “just a little different, I guess

  1. Friend, you’re going to LOVE this. You said that Audrey has a tape player. If it is functional, then you can listen to your iPod without an aux port. Many stores (such as Target, Walmart, and Best Buy) sell tapes for autos that have a little wire coming out of them. You plug the end into the headphone jack of your iPod and the music comes through your car speakers. That’s what I have for my car (which you affectionately named….Joey, was it?) and I use it all the time! The cassette tapes are very inexpensive if you don’t worry about name brands — I think I paid about $6 for mine, and it works beautifully. Get one!

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