As a nanny, people sometimes ask you to do sort of strange things. So I did one of those sort of strange things today by taking a little road trip with my boys in order to take them to their grandpa, who graciously met us halfway.
It made my workday pretty short, but then I was left with a monotonous drive home alone and a stomach growling for lunch.
So I stopped at Jimmy John’s and picked up a Vegetarian (no mayo, of course.).
Here’s where the dilemma comes in. I don’t really like eating alone in public. I don’t think that many people do, but I always feel like people are going to judge me severely for doing it. Like they’ll say to their kids, see that girl over there? yep, the one with the curly hair and the avocado on her face. See how she’s eating alone? That’s what will happen if you don’t have any friends. You’ll have to eat alone in public places.
I guess you could say I just want people to understand that I am not eating alone because I have no friends but just because none of them are with me at the moment. I want them to realize how much confidence it takes to sit down at a table for four and only use one of the chairs (or two, if I want to set my purse down) and give me some credit.
It’s one of those lame worries. Like how I used to worry that snakes lived under my bed when I was younger. How I worry when going through airport security that I actually am a terrorist with bombs in my pockets, but I just didn’t know it. How I worry that all the people at the beach will stop being self-absorbed and see that I haven’t shaved in a couple days.
Lame, I know. But I think that admitting my lameness is good. I think that if you know I’m human and I know you’re human and we all just try to get over it, we might be better off.
Just so you know, I’m not a terrorist.
Glad to get that off my chest.