Post-last day of high school thoughts.

My mom took pictures on her iPhone as I got into Audrey to drive to high school for the last time ever.  I walked into those halls for the purpose of going to class for the last time ever, and said my goodbyes to some people I may never see again.  Granted, my class is not of that group of people.  Grad parties and graduation will help us put off the inevitable goodbyes.

I came home on Friday after grilling hot dogs at the lake (and getting pushed into said lake) with my 27 other soon-to-be-graduates and was floored by the fact that I didn’t have any homework.  None.  The only homework-esque task I have in the next week is to write my speech for graduation, but there are no books to read, no flashcards to go through, no calculus assignments (hallelujah), no more papers, no more need to spend every waking moment studying.

It’s weird.  Just plain weird.  Bizarre.  Extraordinary. Fantastic.  Wonderful.  Hey, I might get 8 hours of sleep per night now!

Everyone asks the same questions when you finish high school: where are you going next year? Small Christian University How will you spend your summer?  nannying, family vacations, getting ready for school, you know.  haha, so funny how everyone has to find a job come summertime. What will you major in? I’m planning on Communications right now, but that might – Will you study abroad? I’m planning on it, I – Where? Gee, I haven’t thought about that. Where do you see yourself in five years? In America?  Wait, no, maybe not… Uh, can we talk in a few years?  Will you get married right out of college?  No? Why not? I don’t think 21 is old enough?  Have you scouted out potential mates?  If you mean, have I looked…. How about living situations?  uh.. How many kids will you have?  2? 3? 4?  Wanna adopt?  If I have the money, but I – Have you picked a retirement plan yet?  WHAT?

(Some of that is facetious, obviously.) Few people ask about the past, if high school was everything I thought it would be, if I had any struggles with non-college decisions, who impacted me the most, would I go back…  This is what I am certain about right now, the past years of my life.  Few people ask about that though – it’s always about the uncertain things.  They want definite answers for the questions that I’d like to think my answers are definite for, but in all reality, I could very well change my major or career path or future spouse plan very quickly.

People, I’d like to think my plans are sure.  I’d like to think that I’ve heard God’s voice loud and clear and that I’m not only going to the right school but picking the perfect major and minor right away.  I’d like to think that my plans are certain, but really, all I’m absolutely certain about is that God will be with me as He has been.  Would you like to hear about THAT?  My certainty?  How He has brought me through some of the most dark places I’ve ever been, through losing people I loved, through pain and grief, through minor anxieties, through frustrations and anger?  Would you like to hear about all He’s taught me?  Because that’s really what I’m sure about.  I know where I’ve been, and I know the God who is going to take me wherever I’m going in my life.

I’d so much rather have questions about that.  But those aren’t the easy questions to ask when you see a high school grad.  Those aren’t the questions that come naturally when you need to make small talk and you haven’t seen each other in five years.

So, I’ll answer the questions about where I’m going with as much certainty as I can.  As will all of the high school graduates in the coming weeks.  And just as we will undoubtedly get sick of the questions, you’ll get sick of hearing the answers, most likely.  Then maybe we can talk about where we’ve been – you too, not just me.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s