For some reason, this morning as I dropped my favorite bar of soap and lost it in the shower, I thought to myself, I should blog about this later. Then once I actually woke up, I realized how dumb that was.
Blogging about soap. What’s next, furniture or kitchen appliances?
good grief.
No, the actual topic I want to ponder today is this: why are there so many trains in my life these past couple days?
Sunday: stopped at the train tracks on the way to and from my friend’s house, incidents more than five hours apart. That’s two train incidents. In one day.
Then today, on my way home from my nanny job, I was stopped by another train! That’s three in two days.
You might say I’m reading into the circumstances of my life a little too much, but I think there’s something significant in the excess of trains.
Trains make me pause, to wait a minute before charging on with my life. If I charged on in spite of the train, I would most likely lose my life. Maybe God’s been protecting me from things that could have happened if I was not stopped by that train. Collisions, sightings, gunshots, or other dangerous and/or threatening things.
Or maybe it was so that I’d hear just one more song on the radio before I got out of the car.
Or to just so that I would stop.
Or to give me a picture. This is likely since I am a visual person. Trains are going somewhere on a track. One car follows another to reach their journey’s end. They transport. They have graffiti all over them. They have cabooses which signal the end of a wait.
I usually get to the train with maybe fifteen cars to go. Maybe I need to end something, or perhaps the wait is about to be over for something else. Maybe it’s a reminder to be patient, because I never know when the train is about to end.
That really is true. Trees always mask the end of a train in our area, so I just have to sit and be patient. When the boys I nanny are in the car, they like to count the cars. It’s a painful wait sometimes, since I lack patience. And sometimes I’m just anxious, concerned that I’ll be late or miss something valuable because of the train.
But maybe the train is intentional.
I don’t think I’ve been seeing the waiting in my life as a train. I’ve been seeing it as a wall. A brick wall. Not only do I not know when it’s going to fall down, but maybe I don’t believe that it ever will. Or maybe I’m going to try to knock it down myself.
I need to see these waits as trains. If I try to move the train before it has gone by in its own time, I will get smushed on the tracks. But I can believe that the train will move. It will go on to reach its destination, leaving me free to reach mine.


2 thoughts on “Training.

  1. Pingback: More thoughts about trains. « Journey to Who I Want to Be

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