Happily and increasingly inadequate

I’ve quoted Max Lucado before, but what he says in this quote is so pertinent to what I’ve been thinking about lately that you’re just going to have to deal with the redundancy.

“God does not call the qualified.  He qualifies the called.”

That is one of the most scary things in the world right there.  That’s like saying, “Hey, you have no way to do what I’m going to ask you do.  But that’s okay, because through the experience that I’m going to lead you through, you’ll become qualified.  It’ll probably include making mistakes, having awkward misunderstandings, and being humbled, but you’ll become an expert.”

It’s definitely the most effective way to learn something.  I was in a sailing class at camp one summer where we were taught how to make the special knots for the ropes, told what a rudder does, then sent out on the water.  When my sailing partner and I begged for more instruction before heading out into the lake, our teacher said that she’d learned when someone had just put her in a boat with no instruction at all.

Obviously, that worked out pretty well for her.

I didn’t have a great experience with sailing.  It included less sailing in a nice zig-zag pattern with the wind pushing us swiftly along and more getting stuck in the weeds along the side of the lake while my partner cried.  Then the sailing instructor would come out in a kayak and tow us back into the open water.  Time and time again.

Holding onto that image is really crucial for me right now, as I prepare to head halfway around the word.  13 days from now, I’ll be on my way to India.  And honestly, even though God has explicitly called me to this, dropped the opportunity in my lap without a request from me, and I know that He wants me there, I don’t know why.  Why me?  I don’t really have anything to offer the people there.  I’ve never experienced an atrocity as great as being trafficked into prostitution like the women whom I will encounter.    My prayer lately has been simple: God, I know this is right.  I know you want me to go.  I know you have an incredible purpose for choosing me, but I am inadequate.  I have no expertise.  So, you’re just going to have to be on close communication terms here. I’m going to cling to you, to wait for you to instruct, then do whatever you say.

Which is probably exactly what He wanted me to say.  Funny how our lives sometimes take us through the ringer just to bring us to a place of complete dependence.  Because the more I think about what I will be doing on this trip, the more I have no idea what that will look like.  I’m becomingly increasingly inadequate.

And that is my joy.  That because I am inadequate, I will be required to rely completely on Jesus.  I will have amazing tales to tell of His instruction and divine appointments.

13 days.  13.  13. 13. 13. 13. whew.

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