Realizations: 1,2,3

I stayed up til 12:30 last night, having realizations about curly hair.

This probably sounds ridiculous to you if you don’t have curly hair and don’t understand how it can be an enormous (literally) pain when it decides that it will succumb to the pressure of heat, humidity, and barometric pressure.

It’s temperamental to say the least.

But I’m learning how to tame it and make the most of my curls in this book (shameless promotion coming up) called Curly Girl.

And it even matches my purse.

and this book tells me to clip up hair that doesn’t want to curl by itself, so I did that…  with clips of the classy colors of silver and pink.

By the time everything settled down hair-wise, the effect was pretty good.  I’m just hoping that it doesn’t take this long every time I do my hair.

Realization number 1: I don’t want to straighten my hair anymore because it damages it too much.  Plus, God gave me curly hair – so I will learn to love and take care of it.

Today is calendar day.  I filled out my dry-erase calendar with all my existing commitments for September so I  don’t end up double-booking myself for anything.  Then I went to town on my planner and put every relevant event from the school calendar on it.

how’s this one for relevant?

This isn’t just a graduation that I will attend and sing in the choir for.  This is the one where my classmates and I will wear the royal blue robes, walk in to Pomp & Circumstance, and receive diplomas.  We’re the ones who toss our caps into the air for the cheesy picture afterwards.  We’re the ones that everyone will want a picture with because they don’t know if they’ll ever see us again.

Oh, goodness.

Weren’t we just learning to write in cursive together in third grade?  Didn’t we just have our fifth grade musical where some of the boys had to rap and I wore an angel costume?  Wasn’t it just a couple years ago that WE were the little sixth graders sprinting to classes because we were terrified of being tardy (whatever that meant)?  I’m pretty sure that I just got my braces off, not years ago and that I first went formal dress shopping much more recently than ninth grade.. three years ago.  And I’m not starting my seventh season of volleyball now, am I?

Time has sprinted on faster and faster every year, but those events do seem far away in some ways.  I was an awkward, gangly sixth grader who was taller than everyone. That seems far away since I have now learned to embrace my height.  Those braces added a metallic sheen to my smile and made flossing a horror that I never wish to repeat.  I barely remember how to use those flossers.  And now I’m taking that periwinkle dress from freshman year to consignment since the sentimentality has finally worn off.

I’m a different person than I was in those years in many ways.  You can measure the inches I grew until I stopped growing after 8th grade; you can count the pairs of shoes I grew out of (even though it’s a pretty high number); you can compare differences in makeup application, hair care, fashion sense, and orthodontic treatment, but the internal changes aren’t visible – at least not directly.  “MORE MATURE” isn’t written on my forehead. “MORE SECURE” isn’t on any of my t-shirts.

I still hope that the difference is stark.  That the change is apparent.

Realization number 2: I will graduate in May.

I’ve been thinking some more today.  (can be a dangerous thing sometimes)

You know how people say, “oh, I just really want to make this person feel loved!” or “I want to make them feel welcome!”  or “Let’s make that person feel valued and important!”

Make them feel.  Give an impression that makes them think we care or value or welcome.

Honorable as it is to want those around us to have high self-esteem and feel loved, there’s a slight issue that can pop up: is that genuine?  It’s fine and dandy to do things that make someone think you care about them, but if you don’t, really, does it do any good?  It may boost their self-image or make them more joyful for half an hour or as long as it takes for the comment to wear off.

What if I honestly, truly loved people?

Loaded question, right there.

Because I can’t truly love anyone without a heart change.  Without the transformation that God makes in my heart, my affection is worthless.  And along with that, then I have to figure out what true love looks like.  So it’s a good thing that Jesus came to earth and lived a life of love.  Call me cliché for saying it, but what if I really lived like Jesus did?

Realization number 3: Genuine love is more valuable than well-intentioned good deeds any day.

Now, I have to share some lovely photography of my breakfast with you.

It’s French toast, made with French bread and topped with cream cheese and strawberries.

Oh, and did I mention that it’s my half-birthday?  You don’t have to bring me gifts – just subscribe or comment and I’ll be a happy girl.

I’ll probably be happy even if you don’t because my mom’s making half a cake tonight.

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