I will never cease to be amazed at how quickly my mood can turn sour – and for no reason, seemingly. One moment I’m eating a croissant quite happily with my parents at a French Bakery near my house,
and the next I’m sitting at home thinking dark thoughts about cleaning and schoolwork and the sound of chewing.
I am thoroughly convinced that it has everything to do with blood sugar. High blood sugar = happy Ashley, peppy Ashley, the one people tend to enjoy being around. low blood sugar = dangerously quiet Ashley, the one who glares at you when you ask her if she’s planning on doing anything productive today.
I was experiencing something similar to the scary Ashley a few minutes ago, so I grabbed a Greek yogurt (It’s Athenos brand, and it has peaches that you can mix into it – and I love peaches so this makes me happy – plus it was on sale at Cub.) and headed downstairs so I could write about it. I’m about halfway through the yogurt, and the world is starting to look brighter. I can literally feel myself getting less irritated and happier, and this is conclusive proof that snack time should be a part of the day at school. I’m one of those students whose stomach is making strange, hungry noises by the end of first period, and for this reason, I will be keeping a secret stash of food in my locker. It’s hard to keep food a secret in my school – particularly because there is a certain demographic (*cough cough* senior boys) who root through lockers looking for sustenance… right after lunch. While I don’t commend their methods of finding nutrition, I do commiserate with the insanity that comes with hunger.
Keeping in mind how unpleasant I can become without food, I wonder if maybe I should keep granola bars on me to offer to crabby people when I see them. I mean, if I have that much trouble with it, I can’t be alone! I bet the world would be a better place if people offered granola bars when others yelled at them instead of yelling back.
In other news, I made cupcakes today.
white cake and strawberry frosting, all baked into a little cup with snowflakes on it.
And, after all that, I bought two pairs of shoes – one with removable insoles so I can have Superfeet, one that has little to no support. I love Famous Footwear’s never-ending BOGO sale.
Clarification: I actually didn’t buy the shoes. My mom bought them. For me.
My kindergarten teacher told me that having big feet makes you smart. (I’ve obviously held tight to that one.) And it may make you smart, but it does not make shopping for shoes any easier. Add to that the fact that my right foot is about a 1/4 of a size bigger than my left and I wear a size that most shoe stores don’t bother to carry (I’m so insulted), and you have a shopping trip that is usually very frustrating.
Oh, and add being 5′ 11”, which means I need pretty flat shoes – but I also need arch support.
And add to that the fact that I have a strange love for high heels of all kinds.
Then add my mother reminding me how impractical high heels are when you’re in high school.
So I don’t blame my mom for saying, “Let’s celebrate!” when we walked out of Famous Footwear, still smiling, with two pairs of shoes. Then she amended the statement by saying, “Celebrating costs money; let’s make popcorn when we get home.”
Popcorn is our signature snack at our house. We make it when people come over (Alex and Adam probably can’t even count the times they’ve had popcorn at our house), when we’re hungry anytime after 2pm, when we watch movies, and when we just need something salty. Tonight, we made it to celebrate – and then I remembered that it’s Friday night, and Criminal Minds is on Friday nights. So we sat through three episodes about serial killers (the popcorn was gone halfway through the first one).
It’s a downer, let me tell you.
I know a lot of people who don’t like reading sad books or seeing sad movies or hearing about what really goes on in third world countries or seeing people who have been abused. They’re in denial that anything short of the happy life they live could possibly exist. It would be nice if we could ignore injustices and guard ourselves from horrible acts. If we could deny that sin exists.
But would it really be nice? It wouldn’t be real, that’s for sure. It’d be a life void of empathy or compassion or sympathy or righteous anger or heartbreak, all things that lead to change.
And boy, does our world need to change.
And I spent my afternoon making cupcakes.