almost burning the house down and thinking about blogging.

Disclaimer: this blog post is not planned out. there was no outline.  we’re just going to follow ashley’s train of thought which at the moment does not include many capital letters. (but just so you know, it s mostly not about harry potter… that’s just the beginning.  bear with me.)

I’ll admit it: I was among the nuts and wizard-wannabes who went to the Harry Potter 7.2 premiere at midnight last night.  I was among the devotees (I looked up synonyms for “junkie”)  who got in line at 9pm, bedecked in a sparkly HP7 t-shirt (homemade with a Ron Weasley quote… debatably my favorite character… he’s in line with Fred/George- I just count them as one personality – and Neville.) and an expression of anticipation.

silly mac camera made it look like I puffypainted it on backwards. Trust me, I didn't.

in case you didn't know, he says that all the time.

We saw female Hagrid imitators, Hedwigs (which, if you are not an avid Harry Potter reader, Hedwig is a white owl…  we’ll just say it was interesting and leave it at that.), a guy who ACTUALLY looked like Harry (I think they just made Daniel Radcliffe go undercover in MN to see what people thought… far-fetcehd? yes. fun to kid myself that it was actually him?  also yes.), and a million and one people who, like us, simply spent far too much time making shirts with spells and quotes and “TEAM HARRY”s written on them in puffy paint.

Movie went til 2:15, I got home at 2:30, which is record-breaking for being out late- with parental permission, of course.  And I got up at 8:30.

Don’t worry, I won’t turn this into a play-by-play of what I’ve been doing since you last heard from me.  The fact that people actually READ this (yes, I’ve checked my stats, and it makes me excited) gives me a reason to write something of substance.  So, DON’T TUNE ME OUT YET!

Due to my lack of sleep, I also have a lack of mental functions, like thinking things through.  Exhibit A: left straightener on…  didn’t actually use straightener, just turned it on and left it that way.  Exhibit B: I was thinking that I wanted to blog, and while it’s usually pretty easy for me to come up with some moral, theological, fashion-related, or nonsense issue that I have been pondering during my day, today I got nothing.  Null.  Nada.  I don’t think I have been pondering or cogitating or, really, thinking much at all.

Discovering this gave me something to think about: when I don’t have the presence of mind to be thinking, should I really ever talk to people?  Answer: no.  For one thing, I already have some issues with thinking before I speak.  My intentions are good: I want to answer people right away and tell them what’s on my mind, but often the wording leaves something to be desired… or can be and is taken in a way I did not mean in the least.

My mouth doesn’t work well without being connected to my brain.  Just like I don’t work well when I’m not in tune with my heavenly radio…  (was that cheesy?  I think it was, but we’re going to leave it anyways.)  Honestly, when I decide to be independent and confident in myself rather in the God who made me to be DEpendent (notice the capitals…  I’m not worth anything without Him.) I often have experiences that are humbling.  I’m not successful.  I’m not extra cute because I’m acting worldly and carefree.

Façades only last so long, especially when we try to fool ourselves.

There, something good came out of 5hoursofsleep brain.

There’s this segment on MPR where kids from a middle school in Minneapolis talk about something unique that they do/did (e.g. singing a Taylor Swift song in a talent show, making dinner with their Hispanic family, etc.), and at the end they always say, “I’m _____, and that’s what’s real.”

So, Ashley’s dropping façades and thinking before she speaks, choosing not to speak if she can’t think, and that’s what’s real.

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